I discovered this web site today, have read through and so far only see parents of cleft children. I think this site is awesome, I am glad there is a place to come and connect. I am 39 years old and was born with a double cleft lip and palate. As you can imagine, surgical techniques in 1967 though groundbreaking, still had a long way to go. I could write novels on what it was like growing up cleft. Maybe someday I will. For now, I just want to introduce myself and tell parents here that I am open for discussion, questions, and general moral support.
Be honest with your kids. Be honest about your feelings (it will make a huge difference to them). Until they are old enough to go to school they will see themselves as totally normal and just like everyone else. If they are old enough to ask, they are old enough for answers. Keep the communication open. Being a child with a cleft can make you feel very much alone in the world. My mom always made me feel that whatever I was going through was important to her.
Blessings to All of You